I’m currently in a year-long course exploring the dynamics of Tantric polarity with renowned teacher and author, Katrina Bos, and this week our main topic was Structure vs Chaos. 

As I simultaneously prep to teach two BDSM workshops, it got me reflecting on how Structure and Chaos show up in BDSM scenes as well as Tantric relating.

BDSM play is often highly structured, with the Dominant taking on the role of driving the scene. They make the decisions, create the protocols, and often even create physical structure in the form of restraints. All of this serves to allow the submissive to move into their inner chaos, to let go of their inner micro-manager, and surrender into feeling. 

It’s a beautiful dance that can take us into a state of profound ecstasy when done in a container of mutual trust.

Vaginal numbness is probably the biggest complaint I hear from my female clients. And the worst part is they all think they are alone and broken. So let’s start by clearing up two things:

You are not broken.

There are often good reasons for vaginal numbness and it’s not something you’re stuck with for life.

It is fully possible to regain sensation and pleasure in your vagina.