Why Yoni Massage Will Change Your Life

As summer's been heating up, so has my workshop schedule. I am thrilled to be offering TWO yoni massage workshops this July: one at Lady Gaia's Embodied Connections, and the other at Oasis Aqualounge.

I also just finished reading Naomi Wolf's incredible book, Vagina (highly recommend it!), which got me reflecting on all the ways mindful genital touch can influence our quality of life on so many levels. 

Before I dive into the benefits of yoni massage, I'd like to start with a simple definition. For those readers who aren't familiar with the term "yoni", it's derived from the Sanskrit term for vulva (and vagina), though its meaning goes much deeper. In the ancient Tantric tradition, the vulva was seen as a symbol of the sacred feminine and highly revered as such. It is from this framework that yoni massage evolved as a profound practice to honour the divinity within the recipient. 

The practice of receiving this massage is not only highly pleasurable, but also yields numerous long term benefits. Let's explore some of these below. 

Increased sensitivity and pleasure capacity

As we learned in anatomy, sensation is mediated by sensory neurons which are found below the surface of our skin. Some areas of our body are more densely innervated, while other areas are far less sensitive. 

Consciously focusing your attention on a specific area of the body helps build sensory awareness in that region. When neurons in your brain repeatedly fire together as they focus on specific sensory input, those neural connections are strengthened and become more easily accessible over time. 

Unfortunately the opposite is also true. If we are repeatedly subjected to unpleasant sensation, we tend to dissociate and the tissue can become tense and numb over time. I've seen this happen with many of my female clients who engage in penetration before their bodies are fully warmed up and ready. The long term effect becomes pain or lack of sensation, which leads to an avoidance of associated activities. 

The act of receiving a yoni massage from a trusted partner can allow for profound healing and opening to greater pleasure. The focus of yoni massage is always on the pleasure of the recipient, and is therefore done at the recipient's pace. This allows her to relax and take her time warming up, only asking for penetration if and when she is ready. Because there is no rush, no end goal, no need for her to worry about reciprocating for her partner in that moment, she is free to focus on her own body and use deep breathing to amplify her pleasure. By staying grounded in present moment awareness, she is able to reinforce those neural connections that focus on pleasure and allow those states to become more easily accessible down the road. 

confidence, motivation and bliss 

As Naomi Wolf discusses in her book, Vagina, a wonderful cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters are released during lovemaking, including dopamine, oxytocin, and a host of opioids and endorphins. Why is this significant?

She writes:

"When a woman's dopamine system is optimally activated - as it is in the anticipation of great sex, an effect heightened by a woman's knowing what turns her on, letting herself think about it, and letting herself go get it - it strengthens her sense of focus and motivation levels and energizes her in setting goals." 

Thus, the more positive sexual experiences a woman has involving arousal, pleasure and orgasm, the more energized and motivated she becomes. Wolf argues that the effects of this activation ripple out into other aspects of a woman's life, resulting in all around increased confidence, focus and energy.  

Furthermore, orgasm has been linked with the release an array of endorphins and opioids which, on brain scans, demonstrate the same areas of the brain lighting up as those of advanced meditators. These states have been described as bliss and euphoria

Yoni massage, when done slowly and with plenty of communication, can help a woman tap into her pleasure capacity and experience these orgasmic states on a regular basis. The long term result: her brain chemistry shifts towards more motivation, joy and overall positive outlook on life. 

awakens Full Orgasmic Potential

Ancient Tantric and Taoist teachers knew that the female body is capable of a variety of different orgasms. Unfortunately, most of us are only familiar with one or two of these. 

Why is this? Statistically speaking, the average sexual encounter does not last long enough for the entire female erectile network to become aroused. Unlike penile erectile tissue, which tends to function as a single unit, the female erectile network is divided into various compartments. These regions become engorged in sequence and take different amounts of time to reach full arousal. The up side is that they can also remain engorged after orgasm without the much lamented refractory period. However, by the time the average penis has climaxed, the vulva is just getting started. And don't think this problem only occurs in heterosexual pairings. Even in same-sex relationships, many women hesitate to ask for the amount of time they need to become fully aroused in fear that their partner might feel tired / bored / neglected / insert whatever negative imagined outcome. 

If you have a vulva and haven't yet experienced your full spectrum of orgasmic potential, here's what you might be missing out on: deep states of bliss and endless waves of orgasm. What makes certain orgasms qualitatively different? The various regions of the female erectile network are connected to the brain via separate neural pathways. Therefore your quality of orgasm can vary depending on the specific pathway (or combination thereof) that it takes to your brain. This accounts for the different emotional states and physical sensations a woman might experience each time she orgasms. Engaging the entire erectile network usually produces the most powerful result. 

Yoni massage, because it is slow and because it carefully engages every part of the arousal network, allows recipients to experience the entire kaleidoscope of arousal. It's a bit like hearing a song played by a full symphony rather than just a single instrument.  

Giving the gift of yoni massage to your partner can be one of the most profound ways to deepen your connection and cultivate your relationship. If you're eager to learn more, I invite you to check out my events page for my upcoming workshops, or email me personally at integrativesexcoach@gmail.com to find out how we can create a custom session just for you!

With love,